Top Ten Things I Have Learned As A Mommy (so far)

10. The things you tell your children at home will be repeated and in situations when you don't want to hear them.

Example: Loudly, at Trader Joes with her little kid cart, to my husband, "Mommy says we shouldn't run into old people or else they have to go to the hospital." Sadly, I had to teach her this after she almost creamed some old person with her tricycle while crossing the street.

9. Don't leave your older child alone with your new baby.

Example: They might put a sticker over the baby's mouth so the crying won't hurt their ears. Might.

8. Don't let your toddler play with the new baby in the laundry room while you do laundry.

Example: You might look over and see that the toddler has sprayed Spray 'N Wash on the baby. Might.

7. Always make sure there is a bathroom close to where you are going.

Example: If not, they will just pee wherever they are, i.e. playground equipment, in the sand at the beach, in their carseat, in the stroller, in the pool, etc.

6. Don't expect your cleaning efforts to make much difference for the next several years.

Example: As soon as you turn around, it will be a mess again - a trail of wherever your toddler has toddled all over the house.

5. Find active stuff to do daily to get out of the house and get your child's energy out.

Example: McDonald's playplace, parks, playgrounds, museums, beach. If you don't, they will go crazy and destroy your house. Oh wait, they will do that anyways.

4. Schedule time for your husband, grandparent, friend, babysitter, etc. to watch your children so you can have a break and refocus.

Example: Go to Starbucks, go see a movie with a friend, go grocery shopping by yourself, sit in your car and take a nap.

3. Take time to teach your kids everything you can and answer their every question along the way.

Example: And if you don't know the answer, don't admit it, just make up the answer!! They'll think you're brilliant! (Wink, wink, dad!!)

2. Sometimes you have to be that bad parent and bribe your kids to make it through the grocery store.

Example: If being the good parent in that situation means my kid screaming through the whole rest of the store, then send me to jail for being the bad parent!!!

1. Value this time as a mother of little ones, it goes so fast and the time will soon be gone!!!

Example: You will look back fondly on this time and remember small amounts of good things because of lack of sleep and say "they just grow up so fast!"

Now as a disclaimer, obviously this is humorous, doesn't cover the whole realm of parenting, and is a little far fetched at times, but the stories are not made up, folks!!!!! As a parent, you gotta learn to let things slide and not be so uptight and JUST HAVE FUN!!!!!