Writing a Letter

image credit

A letter. Who does that anymore? Who receives them anymore? Not like a short thank-you note, or an invitation to a party, which are also becoming obsolete, but a true, long, heartfelt letter? I will tell you this much, a letter means a lot more than a quick email, an online invitation, or a quick, one-liner message on Facebook! Now, I'm not saying that I don't do these things, or that I'm offended when I get these things, but I'm just saying that taking the time to sit down and hand-write a letter to someone could make their day.
I was encouraged to do this from the book Large Family Logistics by Kim Brenneman and also in the book Choosing Gratitude by Nancy Leigh DeMoss. Kim Brenneman encourages you to sit down a write a letter once a week to a friend as a part of your office day. Nancy Leigh DeMoss encourages you to write notes/letters to people who have meant a lot to you in your life, and not to wait until you are standing at someone's funeral and wish you would have expressed how much they had meant in your life. She had amazing stories of how people had really touched other people who might not have otherwise known the difference they had made in someone's life.
I just think a letter is endearing, charming, and extremely thoughtful. For someone to sit down, and take the time to get out paper and pen, and to think of the words to write to you, to put that letter in an envelope and find a stamp to put on it, not to mention dig up your address, it really means a lot!
So, in light of this, I sat down and wrote my first letter a couple of weeks ago. I wrote to a friend who means a lot and who I haven't seen in several months. Someone who will always remain one of my closest friends, no matter the distance between us. She received that letter, and said she had just been thinking how we needed to catch up, and then she got the letter! It made her day! I was so glad I took the time to write to her, and look forward to writing to more people who mean a lot to me but are (sadly) far away!

So, who could you write a letter to this week? We could even write love letters to our husbands!! How much would that mean to them if we took the time to write out what we appreciate about them and how we appreciate all the work they do for our families, especially if that means that we get to stay home with our kiddos!

The possibilities are endless! Make someone's day today, and write them a letter!

Hop of over to aliciashomemaking.com to read more about other people's new adventures this week!!

Having the Husband at Home

This might sound crazy, but after 6 years of marriage, 2 kids, and one on the way, I still adore my husband and wish he could be home all the time. I just don't get that he has to be at work full-time, or more to make ends meet, and be away from us so much!! Growing up, I just accepted that this is what all families did, what all husbands/fathers did. But with being a wife to a man I am totally in love with, I just don't accept it!
I know, I know. I'm crazy. Of course he has to go and work so that we can have money so that we can support our family and I am so blessed that I don't have to work so that I can stay home with my precious kiddos! I get that! I'm just saying, if I had it my way, I would keep him home!
Tad's 30th birthday is coming up, and for his birthday, he wanted to take a crazy hiking/camping trip with his brothers and a guy from our church. They took about 3 days and went to Texas and went hiking, swimming, running, and camping. They had a blast! I am so glad he went and had such a good time!
But it was hard for me. Tad hasn't ever been away since we have gotten married! I have gone away with the kids to Ohio numerous times to visit my family. But we have never been the ones to be left. It wasn't so much that I couldn't handle the kids for the long weekend. I just missed him and was worried about him and his long drive. And I'm not used to being away from him for days on end with almost no communication!
But alas! He is home, safe and sound! It makes me appreciate my time with him so much more. And even though he is back to work, and I miss him again, I am so glad that he is only at work and not in another state with no cell phone reception!!
So, to end this rambling of a blog post, I will just say that I am so in love with Tad, and am grateful for every minute I get to spend with him! I'm so glad that I married someone who I can't stand to be away from, and not the other way around! Love you, baby!

Challenge Week 2: Our Marriages

Last Week
Okay, how was last week (If you missed last week's challenge, click here)? Did anyone write a challenge on a notecard to keep handy? A visual reminder to work on all week long? Perhaps you attached a verse to it to memorize or read every time you see your reminder card? Well, for me, having a notecard with one simple (well, not simple!) reminder to be gentle was good for me. It seemed that gentleness was on my mind all week long. God would remind me in circumstances and even as I was teaching my 11 month old "gentle" as I gently stroked his hand on my face, teaching him not to hit or play rough with my face. I didn't master this area of gentleness by any means, but it was amazing how much more my mind was focused on it and working towards it. I hope someone out there was challenged!
This Week
Okay, I'm not going to pretend I'm an expert on marriage. It has seemed daunting to even prepare to write this blog post, because I am no author, speaker, professional, or even highly experienced person when it comes to the area of marriage. So let's just start there. Tad and I have only been married for 5 years, and we have lots of growing to do. I'm not even gonna tell you all these things we do that make for a rockstar marriage, because honestly, in our 5 short years of marriage, we have had to go through some tough stuff.
The Plan
What I do want to do is to highlight some important areas, challenge our hearts for the week in regards to our marriages, and then give a simple challenge that will get our minds and hearts engaged for a week of focusing on our husbands.
Marriage
I think being a SAHM can be really difficult on a marriage. I have heard so many people say that husbands and wives get so wrapped up in raising their kids, that once the kids leave home, the marriage ends because their lives were all about their children, and not about each other. We have many roles as SAHMs and though a mother is a highly demanding role, taking all our energy, time, creativity, etc. we are still wives as well. We were wives first.
A marriage is a beautiful picture of Christ and the church.

"Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything." Ephesians 5:24

There is this beautiful thing happening as we follow the model for marriage that is laid out for us in Scripture (see Ephesians 5:22-33), but that is the hard thing. We make up our own models and wonder why our marriage is failing. This is so easy to do. To live life day to day, to focus on what we want and how we want our homes to run, to want our family to serve us instead of us serving them. Guilty. To want things to go my way instead of their way. Guilty.
In Calm My Anxious Heart, there is a quote by Dr. Larry Crabb in The Marriage Builder, "a wife will either minister to her husband or manipulate him to get her own way." That rang in my ears after I read it. I have a huge responsibility as helper, helpmate, my husband's trusted friend, his biggest fan, his lover. How am I handling this responsibility? Lightly? Or intentionally?
I am not saying this is easy. I think it's probably easier when you are first married, in the honeymoon stage, have 2 incomes, no kids, and living debt-free. Just sayin'. Throw in 2 kids, one income less, long days, short nights, bills to pay, two completely different roles from each other, and did I mention sleepless nights? Well, you get the picture. Sometimes the last thing we want to do is focus on our husband. We would like for someone to focus on us.
In A Woman After God's Own Heart by Elizabeth George, she says, "So the first step on my journey of a thousand miles to becoming a godly wife was beginning to understand that I am on assignment from God to help my husband." She also says, "God wants us as wives to focus our energy and efforts on our husbands-on his tasks, his goals, his responsibilities." I think that if we are looking to be fulfilled by our husbands, we will be greatly disappointed. We just weren't created to be completely fulfilled by anyone other than God Himself. If we aren't being refreshed and having alone time with God where we are being renewed and satisfied in Him daily, I fear that we will look for that in our husbands, and that can be danger for a marriage. And it will make it difficult to serve our husbands because we will feel weak and unsatisfied ourselves.
Challenge
So here's the challenge for the week:
One way we can focus on our husbands is to pray for them. Someone once told me she married and her husband had so far to go in his walk with God, his desire, and growth as a man. She decided to write out a prayer card for him, and prayed for him daily. Within a year, it was like he was a completely different man. He grew in leaps and bounds in his faith, he had a desire for service in the church, and he was growing.
I'm not saying that writing out a prayer card will solve all your marriage problems or bring you a new and improved husband in a year, but it is a place to start. A place to focus all your frustrations, longings, comparing your husband with other people, etc. and putting them at the feet of Jesus, and LEAVING THEM THERE. Daily commit to pray for your husband.
Serve him. Pick one area that you can serve your husband this week. Just one area. Can I pick up his socks every day without complaining, and without telling him where they go? Can I bring him a cup of coffee every morning when he wakes up? Can I do one of his chores without complaining that he never remembers to do it? Just pick one small thing to do to serve him without complaining.
Finally, let's do something special for our husbands. There are a myriad of options. Does he enjoy quality time? Plan something special, even if it's after the kids go to bed. Is he a talker? Spend time listening to him talk about his day, his job, his concerns without being "too busy" or doing something else while "listening." Does he enjoy gifts? Buy something special or make him his favorite meal/snack. The list goes on and on.

This is just a beginning. There are so many things we can do to intentionally pursue, serve, and submit to our husbands. Date night is a good idea. A getaway, if you can do it, is a good idea. Be creative! Only you know your husband in that special way! And only you can bless him in that deep, meaningful way that no one else can. I'm excited to hear how we can be intentional to make our marriages strong and Christ-centered!!

As always, I would love to hear from you!! If anyone is participating in the challenge, how did your week go? Any God-moments or words of encouragement to share? I would love to hear how God is working in your lives!!

Here's a recap:

1. Write out a prayer card. Commit to pray daily!
2. Pick an area to serve him daily without complaining!
3. Plan something special for your husband!

Join me next week for Challenge #3: Our parenting!!

P.S. Sorry there were no other blog posts this week, our internet was down Monday morning through Friday morning. Hopefully you will see more this coming week! Happy Monday!

Less than one month until our move to Oklahoma!!!

A blast from the past. Not sure if we were even married yet in this pic!! Ah, how things change!!