Wednesday, October 24, 2012


Right now seems like such a crazy time. I think I definitely feel the most overwhelmed since having my third baby at the end of February. She is almost 8 months already, and I still feel pretty overwhelmed. It's not so much just her. It's all three of them put together. And this new year of teaching Classical Conversations each week that involves hours of prep work. And the ministries that I have at church. Plus the regular homeschooling, which I want to be one of my top priorities because I don't want that to fall by the wayside. And my home, and all the responsibilities that come along with that that pretty much fall on my shoulders alone. And then there are other things that I wish I had more time for. Like working out and spending time with friends. I feel like my friends are totally on the backburner right now. The only ones I really get together with are the few that pursue me to get together. Bless them!
Whenever anyone asks how I'm doing or what is going on, I feel like the answer is always "Busy." "Overwhelmed." "Crazy." "A lot going on." And if I'm not doing anything, or if I'm taking a nap, or relaxing, I feel like I should be doing something productive. And I wish I could get up early and get more things done before the kids get up, but lately, I have been getting so little sleep that my energy levels have been down and I have been struggling with depression so I can't really give up sleep right now. Ruth is up a lot at night, Maddy and Judah are in the same room now and they fall asleep a lot later than they used to, and get up a lot earlier than they used to. And usually about the time I lay down to go to sleep at night, Ruth wakes up for a feeding. And it seems like she is up way too much at night.
There is just so much going on right now. I miss having time to bake, cook, decorate, clean, exercise, entertain, all the things I used to blog about. My passions. The things that used to give me breaks. But now, I barely blog and probably because I don't have anything fun to blog about, it seems like I just keep griping about how overwhelmed I am. And how important things keep falling by the wayside. I know there are tons of systems and schedules out there to keep you on top of things. But when you homeschool, you are in a totally different game. When am I suppose to do those daily chores? My whole morning is filled with getting breakfast for 4 people, maybe picking up the kitchen, nursing Ruth, and getting school done with Maddy. And we are usually doing school in the afternoon after naps too.
I need the professional homeschooling veteran moms to help! When do you get things done? And how do you find the energy to get all those things done? It seems like my house is suffering, my health is suffering, and I cannot stay on top of things!! Maybe I'm just having a little emotional meltdown. I know the rewards of homeschooling and I know that that is more important than having a perfect house and entertaining weekly.
My mother-in-law was trying to help me by reminding me of my priorities: God, Husband, Family, Others/Church, Me. That breaks it down, showing me that my family is more important than church, Tad is more important than the kids, etc. But it can still be hard to break it all down and figure out how to get everything done in a way that I'm not going crazy. And I desperately miss my husband. My love. I so wish we had the money to have a getaway to focus on each other and relax. We have barely had that in our whole marriage. Maybe once. Or twice.
And it can also feel a little lonely being at home. Especially when the kids get sick. Even your husband doesn't understand what it's like to have all the responsibilities of a SAHM and be home with them all the time. And to never get a day off. Or a night off. It can be exhausting. Like today. Tad went to work, came home on his lunch break and saw the craziness for like 10 minutes and went back to work. Came home and took a nap on the couch. Left for worship practice and church while I stayed home with sick kids. Came back and did dishes for me and helped clean up and now he is gone on a run with his sister. I have been here all day. He did offer for me to go run, or for us to run together, but I just don't have the energy.
So there's my life. Crazy. Busy. And I don't have any answers, persay, I guess I'm still looking for answers.


  1. Thank you so much for your honesty! I hope you felt a little better after "venting". I completely understand and I only have 2 kids. You really hit a nerve in that last part about even our husbands don't understand! I'm not putting them down, but they change a few diapers, do a couple chores, and then wonder why we don't feel more helped?! I'll be praying for you (probably every time I pray for myself) in these things. I've been learning that if I give God my time in the morning, the rest of life has a better perspective. Keep up the good work! You are a great mama!

  2. Oh sister, we have so much in common. Next week, after Thanksgiving is over and Tiny Town, please come over for a playdate. we have too much in common to not share life. So glad we have met!

    1. My blog hasn't been showing me the most recent comments, not sure why but I JUST got this comment! I'm so sorry! We would love to meet for a playdate!!