The Faith of a Child

As adults, we can easily complicate things. As women, we can more easily complicate things sometimes. In my case, I think I get a lot of mental blocks with things in my life. Instead of thinking through things clearly, I get defeated right off the bat, make lists of how to accomplish things perfectly, and easily get discouraged. I also tend to do this with my faith.
Lately, I think I have really lost sight of who I am in Christ, what He has done for me, and the simple truths in the Bible. I have been challenged in this area as I have begun to teach the simple truths of God to my 3 year old daughter. We have our special Bible time together, and she is learning and retaining a lot from church and her other programs she had this year. She has lots of questions, and I have to make sure that I explain things on a 3 year old level, in the most simple way. This really breaks it down for me.
Recently, I met with my youth pastor in Ohio, who has been a great source of encouragement for me in my life ever since I was in his youth group 12 years ago. When I am struggling (with the same things), he always encourages me to dwell at the foot of the cross. To dwell on the gospel. To live in a spirit of repentance. "But I am so far from God right now," I say, "and I have to do all these things before he will be happy enough with me for me to have this good relationship..."
Even though I have grown up in the church, went to Christian school, and spent 4 years at Moody Bible Institute, I have totally been missing the central gospel message. It's not about all the books, rules, conditional love on this planet, earning our way towards rockstar spirituality. It is about (and always has been about) God. About who He is and what He has done. And the hardest for me: the fact that He loves me completely right now. That there is nothing I can do that will make Him love me more. It's so hard for me to believe, realize, and live. How could it be so easy? Don't I have to do something to earn God's love for me? Isn't that how it works? Isn't that how everything works? I feel like I must be a better wife, a better mother, better looking, a better homemaker, a better friend, and a better Christian. But I can never seem to get there. And I guess that's where we start. We can't do it. He already did.
Someone opened our church service this morning by saying, "We are here to celebrate what God has already done for us." It is so comforting that I don't have to do anything else, or be anything else, or fulfill a checklist, or "muster anything up," or lose weight, or clean my house more, or memorize a certain number of verses. This morning, today, He is enough. He is enough for me. And all I need to do is to sit quietly at His feet and humble myself before Him. God. Creator. Sustainer. Full of Grace. Arms open wide. Abba, Father.
So when I am teaching these biblical truths to my daughter, and reading the stories, and answering the questions, I hope that my faith will be rejuvenated. They aren't just stories. They aren't just cute little songs. It should be our life, what we are teaching our kids to live for, and what shapes us as parents, and people. We tell them about God, and they believe it. We answer the questions, and that forms their little world. Oh, let us be more like them, and not make everything so complicated.

Thank you, God, for loving me, in spite of my lists, distractions, and blurry idea of what my relationship with You should look like. May I just rest in You, and soak up the depth of your love for me, and realize that it has nothing to do with me, but everything to do with the cross. May I live there regularly. And when I do fail, and I will, help me to accept your grace and forgiveness. Amen.